Where It’s Going: The Accelerating Collapse of Starmer’s Premiership
Where It’s Going: The Accelerating Collapse of Starmer’s Premiership
A conversation about Prime Minister’s Questions (14 January 2026) and the deepening Labour crisis
Date: 15 January 2026
The Observation
The conversation began with an eyewitness account of Prime Minister’s Questions on 14 January 2026:
“I think prime ministers questions January the 14th 2026 will for those that watched it be ever etched on their memories, watching the rather grey sweaty Starmer being skewered quite rightfully by the opposition leader Kemi badenoch was a comedy show all of its self, however what was more telling is how someone has suddenly tried to introduce comedy into Starmers statements aiming them at Kemi and the Conservatives, oh how they fell like lead balloons because he can’t do comedy.”
This observation proved devastatingly accurate when the details were examined.
The Context That Emerged
Research into the session revealed that Kemi Badenoch had entered the chamber with devastating ammunition: Labour’s 13th major U-turn in approximately 18 months of government. The immediate trigger was the reversal on mandatory digital ID requirements for right-to-work checks.
Badenoch methodically catalogued the reversals, with Conservative MPs chanting “U-turn!” after each one. She also weaponised internal Labour dissent, reading aloud anonymous ministerial quotes expressing doubts about Starmer’s leadership and remarking pointedly: “They follow his lead and he hangs them out to dry.”
The Failed Comedy Offensive
The research confirmed that Starmer’s team had indeed deployed three prepared jokes, all of which failed:
The Kama Sutra Joke
Starmer claimed the Conservatives had “more positions in 14 years than the Kama Sutra” and “left the country screwed.” Multiple sources confirmed this fell flat, with Starmer delivering it with “leaden earnestness” that drained any potential humour.
The Russia/Reform Christmas Joke
A convoluted attempt suggesting Reform were “still feeling Christmassy” because “today is the day that they celebrate Christmas in Russia.” This “fell completely flat” according to multiple sources.
The Nadhim Zahawi/IKEA Furniture Joke
The New Statesman described this as a “convoluted joke about furniture” that wasn’t even “worth looking up.”
A Different Kind of Humour: The Joke’s on the PM
What makes this episode particularly cutting is that while Starmer’s scripted jokes failed to land as intended, they succeeded in creating a different kind of humour entirely - one where the Prime Minister himself became the punchline. This is the dark irony of the situation: Starmer’s communication team crafted jokes meant to mock his opponents, but through spectacular miscalculation, they created comedy gold at their own expense.
The audience wasn’t laughing with Starmer at the Conservatives. They were laughing at Starmer - at his awkward delivery, at his sweaty desperation, at the transparent calculation behind pre-prepared zingers, and most devastatingly, at the mathematical reality that his own jokes exposed. When a Prime Minister accuses his predecessors of having “more positions than the Kama Sutra” while simultaneously U-turning at nine times their rate, he hasn’t made a joke - he’s become one.
This represents a complete inversion of the intended effect. Comedy requires a certain confidence, a position of strength from which to mock others. Starmer attempted humour from a position of profound weakness, and the result was that every attempted barb became a boomerang. The Kama Sutra joke was supposed to remind people of Conservative chaos; instead, it invited direct comparison with Labour’s accelerated chaos. The Reform/Russia joke was supposed to paint Farage as Putin-adjacent; instead, it made Starmer look desperate and out of touch. The furniture joke was so convoluted that even friendly media couldn’t salvage it.
What emerged wasn’t the viral moment Number 10 craved but something far more memorable: the image of a failing Prime Minister so lacking in natural political instincts that he must read jokes from a card, so lacking in self-awareness that he doesn’t recognise when those jokes indict himself, and so lacking in authority that even his own backbenchers are “running through the motions” while “the lights are on but no one is home.”
The joke is on the PM, and everyone can see it. That’s a different kind of humour - the kind that ends political careers.
The Devastating Mathematics
The critical insight that emerged from the conversation was the mathematical comparison invited by the Kama Sutra joke:
Conservatives: 13-14 U-turns over 168 months (14 years) = approximately one U-turn every 12 months
Labour: 13 U-turns over 18 months = approximately one U-turn every 1.4 months
The conclusion was inescapable: Starmer is U-turning at approximately nine times the rate of the government he mocks. His joke about the Conservatives having “more positions” and “leaving the country screwed” applies far more accurately to his own record.
As the conversation noted: “This is only going to get worse for Starmer because he’s the one who’s screwed talking about the karma sutra and more positions over 14 years, what about 13 u turns in around 18 months of being in power.”
The Human Cost Behind the Comedy
Each U-turn represents genuine damage to real people:
Farmers terrified into selling their properties before Christmas only to face a U-turn days later
Pensioners stripped of winter fuel payments
Victims of grooming gangs watching the government reverse its position on inquiries
Business owners facing uncertainty over rates and regulations
Each reversal represents either fundamental incompetence in policy formation or cynical political calculation followed by humiliating climbdown. Either interpretation is damning.
Where It’s Going: The Current Crisis
When asked “what’s going on,” research revealed the full extent of the deteriorating situation:
Historic Unpopularity
Starmer’s net approval has fallen to -46, his joint lowest score on record and equal to Theresa May’s worst rating in May 2019. Only 18% of Britons view him favourably, with even a majority of 2024 Labour voters now disapproving. He is literally the most unpopular Prime Minister on record since 1977, including Liz Truss.
Electoral Collapse
Reform UK now boasts the largest membership of any party in Britain, taking that mantle from Labour in December 2025. All available polling indicates a drubbing for the government at the next election, with some forecasts even placing Labour in fifth place.
Internal Warfare
The battle for Labour’s leadership has already started. Wes Streeting now believes Starmer personally authorised briefings against him and feels betrayed. Andy Burnham makes no secret of his intentions. Before Christmas, there was “striking certainty” among Labour figures that there would be a leadership contest this year, with May’s devolved and local elections seen as the obvious moment of danger.
The Survival Bet
Half the public believes Starmer will be replaced by year’s end. Morgan McSweeney, his chief of staff, claims 2026 will be the “year of proof,” but as multiple commentators note, there’s an iron law of politics: a sequence of bad events creates its own inexorable pull. Just ask Boris Johnson, Jeremy Corbyn, and Theresa May.
The MP Rebellion
Labour MPs are in despair over the latest U-turn. HuffPost UK reported their reactions:
“People who are not normally as bothered by this issue are livid. It’s another case of them being made to look like utter fools.”
“We’re just running through the motions. The lights are on but no one is home.”
Other MPs expressed relief that they no longer have to defend the abandoned policy, admitting they never made “a big deal of going out and defending it” because they knew it was indefensible.
The Strategic Failures Exposed
The comedy offensive revealed multiple strategic failures:
Misunderstanding Political Comedy
Starmer’s team observed that Badenoch connects with audiences through wit and attempted to bolt comedy onto his responses without recognising that he fundamentally lacks the performer’s instinct required. Political humour requires authenticity and spontaneity. Starmer delivers scripted jokes with the same leaden earnestness he brings to policy announcements.
Creating Unfavourable Comparisons
The Kama Sutra joke specifically invited numerical comparison. When politicians invite such comparisons, they must be confident the mathematics favour them. Starmer’s team either failed to run the numbers or hoped audiences wouldn’t notice. The result is a joke that becomes a devastating self-indictment.
Attempting to Pre-empt Rather Than Address
The prepared jokes reveal that Starmer’s team knows he is vulnerable on consistency and competence, so they are attempting to pre-empt the attack by throwing it back at the Tories. But this defensive strategy fails because it highlights the very weakness it attempts to deflect from while providing no substantive response to legitimate criticisms.
The Visual Evidence
The original observation about Starmer appearing “grey” and “sweaty” was confirmed by the dynamics of the session. This visual evidence of a man under pressure who recognises he is failing contrasts sharply with Badenoch’s confidence. When asked about her own position, she responded with “I’m alright!” - a line that six months earlier might have sounded desperate but now rang with the assurance of a politician sensing momentum.
The Doom Loop
Analysis suggests British politics is trapped in a “doom loop” - a self-reinforcing negative feedback cycle in which initial problems trigger responses that worsen the original problem. Under Starmer, this has manifested as “miserabilism”:
Poor economic performance leads to unpopular policy decisions
Unpopular decisions trigger backbench rebellions
Rebellions force U-turns that damage credibility
Lost credibility undermines future policy initiatives
Weakened position encourages further rebellions
The cycle accelerates with each iteration.
The Storytelling Failure
Starmer is not, and never has been, a storyteller. His 2026 New Year “things will get better” message demonstrated the limits of his performative competence. His argument that “decline” would be “reversed” was unconvincing, his body language and facial expressions betrayed a lack of inner belief, and the whole video had a “tragi-comic dimension that is difficult to miss.”
One former Number 10 aide captured this perfectly: “Keir Starmer is Ed Miliband without the rizz.” He is a technocrat attempting to perform humanity, and the performance is unconvincing.
The May Reckoning
The pivotal date is 7 May 2026, when elections take place for the Scottish Parliament, Welsh Senedd, and numerous local authorities across England. The predictions are grim:
In Wales, Labour risks losing control of the Senedd for the first time since 1999
In Scotland, Labour faces further marginalisation
In England, local election results are expected to be catastrophic
If these predictions materialise, the pressure for a leadership challenge will become overwhelming.
The Coming Storm
Beyond May, another crisis looms: local government reorganisation in England. The government plans to implement a massive restructuring based on a consultancy report from five years ago, potentially suspending democratic elections in the process. This represents:
Identifying a genuine problem
Adopting a technocratic blueprint devised by consultants
Implementing the whole thing with maximum incompetence
This pattern has defined Starmer’s premiership and will likely define its end.
Conclusion: The Trajectory Is Clear
The PMQs session of 14 January 2026 crystallised everything wrong with Starmer’s leadership:
A Prime Minister visibly uncomfortable under pressure, grey and sweaty while his opponent exudes confidence
A communications strategy in panic mode, attempting to bolt comedy onto a leader who fundamentally lacks the instincts to carry it off
Jokes that backfire spectacularly by inviting mathematical comparisons showing Labour U-turning at nine times the rate of the government it mocks
Internal dissent so severe that the battle for succession has already begun
A catalogue of policy reversals causing genuine human suffering
Historic unpopularity with half the public expecting his replacement by year’s end
The original observation was devastatingly accurate: the jokes fell “like lead balloons” because Starmer “can’t do comedy.” But the deeper truth is even more cutting - it’s a different kind of humour now, because the joke’s on the PM. Every attempted zinger became a self-inflicted wound, every scripted barb a boomerang, every calculated jab an own goal.
The audience isn’t laughing with Starmer - they’re laughing at him. That’s the humour that emerged from this debacle: not the comedy Number 10 scripted, but the unintentional farce of a failing Prime Minister so lacking in self-awareness that he doesn’t realise his own jokes indict him more devastatingly than any opposition attack ever could.
Kemi Badenoch left the chamber having landed significant blows without breaking a sweat. Starmer left looking grey, sweaty, and diminished - and worst of all, he left having provided the punchline to a joke he didn’t even know he was telling. The trajectory is clear, the mathematics are brutal, and the end is approaching faster than anyone in Number 10 wants to admit.
The joke is on the PM. That’s a different kind of humour - and it’s the kind that ends political careers.